Why I talk about dance at work

I've been pole dancing in studios since 2017. I teach and perform, and many of my dearest friends are dancers of some kind. I once danced in a pole competition (and won) while wearing a full face mask and not seeing a thing!

For a long time, almost no one I worked with knew any of that.

It felt safer and simpler to keep work-me and personal-me totally separate (especially around something that can be misunderstood).

Narrator: it wasn't simpler.

I had to make things up when someone asked what I did outside of work. And eventually, I had to talk around my partner, because he's a professional pole instructor and performer.

Not talking about dancing meant not talking about my life authentically, and that was probably as confusing for the people trying to get to know me as it was isolating for me.

When I was interviewing at Amplitude, I decided to take a different approach. During my "Teach Us Something" presentation, I taught the panel about fire dancing and even busted out my (unlit) palm torches. It was a risky, but important test.

They passed! And so did I. After I got the role, I presented at an All Hands to introduce myself alongside a photo of me upside down in a lyra (a circular metal hoop). This was me dipping my toe (or in this case, my head?) in the water of vulnerability. It turned out to be uneventful in the best way possible.

Once I was more settled, I was more open about pole specifically. Reactions ranged from warm and curious to nothing at all. Nowadays I'm more specific and enthusiastic, talking about the classes I'm teaching and performances I'm preparing for.

The best part is how sharing something personal opens the door for others to consider doing the same.

I've since learned about my peers' values, interests, and passions in ways I'm not sure I would've otherwise. I love hearing about what energizes and inspires them.

(I also recognize this choice is a privilege. Everyone has their own calculation to make, and some carry risk and prejudice that I don't. I respect someone's privacy just as much as their openness.)

I'm so grateful for the people who've received me with kindness, and for how we've connected along the way.